


Leave My Cakes Alone!

by ABigFan



Series: Haikyuu College AU (which has almost nothing to do with college) [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Crack fic (kinda), Fish, M/M, Tsukishima getting very annoyed, a bit of angst which isn't really angsty, but I wouldn't know how to make a happy ending then, but it's ok because they love each other<3, strawberry shortcakes, this was supposed to have a different ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:27:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26745877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ABigFan/pseuds/ABigFan
Summary: Kuroo tries to make Tsukishima eat fish. This is a crackfic but I still hope you enjoy.
Relationships: Kozume Kenma & Kuroo Tetsurou, Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei
Series: Haikyuu College AU (which has almost nothing to do with college) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1947112
Comments: 1
Kudos: 15





	Leave My Cakes Alone!

"Hey, Tsukki"

"No. I'm not doing this today."

"Please? Just one bite?"

"No." Tsukki said firmly.

"Ugh. You're so boring. C'mon love, try it." said Kuroo as he lifted his head off the couch, looking at Tsukishima.

"If I'm so boring then why are you dating me?"

Kuroo smirked as he got off the couch and stalked towards Tsukishima.

"You may be boring but you're mine~"

Tsukishima stared at him with a deadpan look.

"Did you not hear what I said? I asked why you were dating me and you said I was yours. That makes no sense."

Kuroo pouted in an effort to appear cute.

"Are you trying to look cute? You just look even uglier."

Unfazed by Tsukishima's mean comments, Kuroo dragged Tsukishima to the couch to cuddle.

"Hey, I'll buy you 3 strawberry shortcakes if you eat 1 fish."

"Nope."

"Why not? It's a good deal?"

"Fish are disgusting and I can buy my own cakes. Now let me go, I have to study."

Kuroo reluctantly let Tsukishima go but a mischievous smile soon returned to his face as he started to formulate a plan.

The next day when Tsukishima tried to look for his shortcake, he saw his cake touching the fish.

Disgusted that his cake was tainted, he threw the cake away and went out to buy more.

Kuroo, noticing that Tsukishima went out to buy cake, started to prepare for phase 2 of the plan. He grabbed his phone, texting Oikawa to do him a favor.

Tsukishima was tired. After buying and placing his cakes somewhere secure he was asked by Kuroo to get something from Oikawa.

_Why do I love him again?_

Flashes and glimpses of memories played in his head, reminding him why. A little smile snuck onto his face as he prepared to meet Oikawa in the garden.

_Wait a minute... The garden smells a bit rotten? Maybe it's just trash. Yeah. That's what it is._

Seeing Oikawa in the corner Tsukishima notices he looks quite pale. Tsukishima decided not to ask him about it and just takes the notes and books from Oikawa.

"Bye, I guess." Tsukishima said quite awkwardly.

Oikawa didn't answer.

Tsukishima was about to ask if there was something wrong with him but Oikawa quickly answered, stopping him from talking.

"Ah of course! I'll see you around glasses-chan~" Oikawa said before turning abruptly and walking away quickly.

_Well that was weird. What happened?_

Shaking his head, Tsukishima decided to ask Kuroo about him tomorrow since it was getting quite late.

Entering the shared dorm, he quickly notices two things. One, Kuroo wasn't lounging on the couch as usual and two, the was a piece of shortcake on the table with a note in front of it.

Cautiously, he walked over and picked the note up.

**Hey Tsukki, thanks for picking my stuff up. I'm studying for a test so just eat the cake I prepared for you.**

**❤️ Your one and only ;)**

Picking up the note, he flattens it and keeps it in a little container with several other notes from Kuroo.

Tsukishima inspects the cake to see if it had been tainted by trash. After sniffing it and checking for fish stains, he decide that the cake is safe.

Grabbing a fork, he cuts a tiny piece off and places it in his mouth only to spit it out.

_**The cake turned out to be filled with fish.** _

Pissed off, he storms into Kuroo's room to see him sleeping on the bed. Tsukishima stops for a while, thinking of the evilest way to wake Kuroo up. Tsukishima enters the bathroom, grabs a pail, fills it up with cold water and poor Kuroo, dumps it all over him.

"AGHHHH!"

"That's what you deserve"

"KEI! WHY?!"

"You put your stinky, trashy fish inside of my cake, just a reminder."

Kuroo groaned. He knew that he should prepare for the consequences but he forgot about what he did and fell asleep.

“I will never forgive you.”

“Aw, c’mon Kei! It was just a piece of cake!”

“A piece of cake which you tainted and entered my mouth. I’m revoking your right to use my first name.” Tsukishima left the room after he snapped those words at him.

“Tsukki!”

Tsukishima did not respond. Kuroo heard the door slam shut and he knew Tsukishima went to his home.

Kuroo sighed, knowing he had to continue with the 3rd and final part of the plan.

The next day, Tsukishima woke up to a text from Kuroo.

_**Kur-ew: Hey love, I’m sorry for putting fish in your cake. Forgive me?** _

_**Tsukkei: I’ll never forgive you for what you did to strawberry shortcake-chan.** _

_**Kur-ew: What?! Why are you calling your cake that?!** _

_**Tsukkei: *new love of my life** _

_**Kur-ew: I’m so hurt! At least let me make it up to you by taking you to the restaurant for a date~** _

_Read at 9:27 am_

**_Kur-ew: I'll take that as a yes then, see you there~_ **

Sighing, Tsukishima went to got dressed, a bit scared and at the same time happy to be seeing Kuroo again.

Entering the restaurant, he sees Kuroo sitting down in a secluded table. He approaches Kuroo quickly, sliding into the opposite side of the table.

"Kei, before you say anything, I want to say I'm very sorry for putting fish in your cake and I won't do it again. I love you and I don’t want something stupid I did to end our relationship. Order anything you want." 

Tsukishima skeptically looked at Kuroo before deciding to order. 

“Really? Anything?”

“Anything for you, my moon.”

Smiling a bit, Tsukishima ordered what he wanted and thankfully (for Kuroo), it wasn’t too expensive.

“Wait a minute my love, I have to go number 2.”

“That’s disgusting Kuroo, you could’ve just said you needed to go to the bathroom.”

“Well, too late. And I would love to talk to you for the rest of my life while holding you in my arms but I really need to go. Au revoir~”

Tsukishima exhaled quietly as he looked at the menu a bit more. After a while, he whipped out his phone to see that around 15 minutes have passed. Getting a bit worried, he enters the bathroom. All the stall doors are open and there are no occupants. Tsukishima retrieves his phone to text Kuroo.

_**Tsukkei: Idiot! Where are you?!  
** _

_**Kur-ew: Love! An emergency happened! I don’t think I can make it back!** _

_**Tsukkei: So I’ll just sit here and finish the food?** _

**_Kur-ew: Yes! Love, I’m so sorry..._ **

**_Tsukkei: I’m not forgiving you for this._ **

**_Kur-ew:_** 😭😭😭

Tsukishima glared at his phone. Specifically the profile picture of Kuroo in which he looks like a playboy. Kuroo at first kept on changing his profile picture to photos of a sleeping Tsukishima but eventually, Tsukishima forced him to stop because of ‘incidents’.

Tsukishima went back to the table and he noticed 2 things. 1, his food seemed to have arrived and 2, so did Kuroo’s. And it was fish. What else did Tsukishima expect? 

He sat down to eat, already halfway through his meal when a realization hit him. He had to eat Kuroo’s disgusting trash fish. The restaurant did not provide take-outs so he couldn’t throw the rubbish into his stupid face. His mother always said that food shouldn’t be wasted and that his plate should be scraped clean and since ~~(Tsukki is a momma’s boy)~~ Tsukishima always listens to his mother, it meant he would have to eat the fish.

Finishing his dinner, (which thankfully, didn’t make him that full) he slowly pulled Kuroo’s plate towards him and scowled at the scum on the plate. He reluctantly placed the spoon filled with fish and rice to his lips, opening his mouth and quickly placing the contents inside.

_Wow. This doesn’t taste like how I thought it would. It tastes so much worse. Remember Kei, you’re doing this for mother._

He swallowed the fish and quickly prepared another spoonful.

_The quicker I eat, the quicker it’ll be over._

Teary-eyed, he quickly shoved the fish into his mouth, finishing in about 10 minutes.

He waved the waiter over to pay the bill.

“Sir? Your bill has already been paid for.”  


“What? By who?”  


“Your accompaniment that left a while ago.”  


_Wait what? I don’t get thi- Oh my god. Did Kuroo plan this? That **ass**. I’ll kill him._

Tsukishima thanked the waiter and quickly called Kuroo.

“Kuroo”  


“Tsukki! My love! I love hearing your voice but, why are you calling me?”  


“Don’t act so innocent.” Tsukishima hissed into the phone, “You planned this didn’t you?”  


Kuroo sighed over the phone. “My Tsukki is so smart!”

“So was there an actual emergency?!?!”  


“Kinda. Kenma needed some help dying his hair.”  


“That doesn’t qualify as an emergency.” Tsukishima said while adjusting his pace and walking quickly to Kenma’s house, “You just left me in there with the fish!!!”  


“How was it? Did you like it?”  


“No!!!! It tasted horrible! I- You planned the whole date for this?!”  


Loud sounds were heard from the other end of the phone. “Hey, this is Kenma. I’m sorry for the idiot over here. If I knew what he was planning, I would have told him to stay.”

“Kenma-san, it’s not your fault. It’s that cretin’s doing. I’m near your house already so I’ll make him pay for it.”

“Ok. Bye.” And with those simple words, the call ended. Tsukishima stuffed his phone into his pocket and seeing Kenma’s house up ahead, he runs and knocks on the door.”

_*Knock knock*_

The door swung open and Tsukishima stepped inside looking for Kuroo then dragging him out. They started walking to their shared dorm room.

“Kei! I missed you!”  


“Why?!”  


“Why what Kei?”  


“You know what I’m talking about.”  


“Alright, fine. You know I love fish almost as much as I love you. I want share my loves with the one I love so maybe in the future we could cuddle up on the couch we love and feeding each other food we both love!”  


“I don’t think fish is an ideal food for that activity. Desserts are more suited for that.”  


“Hey, does that mean you don’t object to doing it in the future?”

“Maybe. Just know that I won’t be forgiving you for putting fish in my cake.”  


“I would say I can live with that but I really can’t. Isn’t there some way I can make it up to you?”  


“Buy me strawberry shortcakes for a year and I’ll think about it.”  


“Yes my love~. For now, why don’t we watch the Land Before Time while cuddling~?”  


Tsukishima gave a fond smile. “Sure. Then let’s also eat the cake and feed it to each other.”

“Kei!”  


They continued to talk and converse with each other as they went home to cuddle and hug to ‘If We Hold On Together’.

**Author's Note:**

> So I really hope you enjoyed! My next fic will be a Nishinoya X Reader! (pls give me titles for that one, I really need help)


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